Dean is barely able to process his own memories, much less someone else's. He can feel his mind shutting down. He doesn't try to stop it, at this point it's probably the only way he's gonna get through this.
Dean doesn't think as he obeys Dan's orders. He follows when Dan gets off the horse. He walks over as Dan walks over. He looks down at the injured woman and thinks, of the two of them, she might be the one who's better off.
He takes a moment before registering that he's supposed to be doing something. He kneels down and cradles her head. The blood is sticky and warm. Dean's body feels far away as he helps to lift her. Everything feels far away, except where his hands meet the woman's body; where they brush against Dan's. They're both feel like living, breathing things where Dean... doesn't.
The tips of Dean's fingers are raw, almost bleeding. He's been disassembling and reassembling Dad's M1911 for the last hour. Every time he makes a mistake, Dad tells him to start over. His fingers are fumbling more as time goes on, he just can't seem to make them work right. He feels stupid and clumsy and he wants to cry, but he knows that would just make things worse. Why can't he do anything right?
Dean returns to the present, helping Dad carry the corpse to the Impala so they can dispose of the body far away from the crime scene-
No, he's with Dan and the horse and he's helping carry an injured civilian so they can get her to safety.
He has to stay grounded enough that he can still help. If he acts too slowly it could be any of their death sentence. What use is he if he can't help these people?
[cw: dissociation, child abuse]
Dean doesn't think as he obeys Dan's orders. He follows when Dan gets off the horse. He walks over as Dan walks over. He looks down at the injured woman and thinks, of the two of them, she might be the one who's better off.
He takes a moment before registering that he's supposed to be doing something. He kneels down and cradles her head. The blood is sticky and warm. Dean's body feels far away as he helps to lift her. Everything feels far away, except where his hands meet the woman's body; where they brush against Dan's. They're both feel like living, breathing things where Dean... doesn't.
The tips of Dean's fingers are raw, almost bleeding. He's been disassembling and reassembling Dad's M1911 for the last hour. Every time he makes a mistake, Dad tells him to start over. His fingers are fumbling more as time goes on, he just can't seem to make them work right. He feels stupid and clumsy and he wants to cry, but he knows that would just make things worse.
Why can't he do anything right?
Dean returns to the present, helping Dad carry the corpse to the Impala so they can dispose of the body far away from the crime scene-
No, he's with Dan and the horse and he's helping carry an injured civilian so they can get her to safety.
He has to stay grounded enough that he can still help. If he acts too slowly it could be any of their death sentence. What use is he if he can't help these people?