It takes all his strength to muster the assertive tone he needs. No matter how many times he gets the upper hand, he never manages to become the dominant type. Besides, it's true: CT doesn't actually know what he is, she just guessed it.
What he doesn't expect is to have a flash of memories himself. It such a mundane memory, too, he's been through so much worse, through unspeakable things. This is nothing compared to the rest, and maybe it's exactly why it's coming up, because with the excuse of comparison he doesn't want to admit that it hurts:
Price is thirty-something, the project has started just a couple of years ago. He and the Director are leaving a crowded meeting room, but he forgot his jacket, so he comes back in. As he does so, Price recognizes someone in the cleaning staff, someone who has been staring at him for a while.
"Oh...Hello."
"Take your shit and get out of here." growls the other through his teeth, it's an older man with long coily hair which has mostly become white. He's in his late fifties, by now.
"What are you doing here? I thought you worked for a magazine."
"Well, I had to start doing multiple jobs ever since someone burned my house down."
"Uh. Yes, I...I apologize for that." he doesn't know what to say, and it shows because this is perhaps the dumbest response he could give.
"Oh, really?! You apologize?!"
"I know I can't fix the damage I've done, but...I am working on getting better. I have this new job, now, where I can use my talents and my energies for good. I am in a military organization, and I'm helping with training soldiers to use newer technologies to save the galaxy. I work with the Director, he is a pioneer in this field, and he is very dedicated to the cause. Whenever there is something that I don't understand, whenever I don't know if something is right or wrong, I just ask him, and he teaches me. He's giving me the guidance that no one ever gave me, and it is going to be a long process, but...I'm learning, I promise. Please, just...Give me some time."
"I'm not falling for that one."
"I'm not lying--"
"You lied to me for thirteen years."
"Because I was afraid you would leave me--"
"That's why you burned my house down?!"
"I tried to explain, but you wouldn't listen." he pouts and starts speaking like a scared child "You were yelling at me, and you hit me, you promised you would never hit me...!"
"I GAVE YOU. ONE SLAP. AFTER YOU RUINED MY LIFE ON PURPOSE."
"You shouldn't have hit me..." he mumbles, shaking slightly, in a mixture of fear and rage.
"I am going to hit you right now if you don't get the hell out of here."
"And throw away thirteen years of marriage like this?!"
"You did it first."
Price stays still, mouth open without saying anything. He hears the Director yell something like 'Counselor, hurry up or I'm leaving you here!' from afar.
"I have to go. The Director is calling me."
"I hope for his own sake that he never fucks you." he says with such gratuitous venom, with such cruelty, that it spites Price.
"Too late. Well, see you around." and with that, he leaves the room, only to pretend everything is alright once he reaches the Director. Of course, what he said was a lie: the Director never bothered to look at him for more than two seconds in a row or remember his name. Which, in fact, always made him feel bad, but now this memory hurts for two reason: the explanation he had given about getting better? He really used to believe it, and the Director betrayed his trust with that.
The worst thing is that he feels an emotion he hadn't felt in a long time, shame. He's ashamed that CT has to witness this, to see him as something other than the cold professional he was in Project Freelancer. This wasn't a calculated risk like when he showed South that he was a troubled child, it's a flash that came up without his consent and that shows how truly alone he is. Especially now that he still likes to cling to the idea of the Director but knows for a fact that the man never cared about him.
no subject
It takes all his strength to muster the assertive tone he needs. No matter how many times he gets the upper hand, he never manages to become the dominant type. Besides, it's true: CT doesn't actually know what he is, she just guessed it.
What he doesn't expect is to have a flash of memories himself. It such a mundane memory, too, he's been through so much worse, through unspeakable things. This is nothing compared to the rest, and maybe it's exactly why it's coming up, because with the excuse of comparison he doesn't want to admit that it hurts:
Price is thirty-something, the project has started just a couple of years ago. He and the Director are leaving a crowded meeting room, but he forgot his jacket, so he comes back in. As he does so, Price recognizes someone in the cleaning staff, someone who has been staring at him for a while.
"Oh...Hello."
"Take your shit and get out of here." growls the other through his teeth, it's an older man with long coily hair which has mostly become white. He's in his late fifties, by now.
"What are you doing here? I thought you worked for a magazine."
"Well, I had to start doing multiple jobs ever since someone burned my house down."
"Uh. Yes, I...I apologize for that." he doesn't know what to say, and it shows because this is perhaps the dumbest response he could give.
"Oh, really?! You apologize?!"
"I know I can't fix the damage I've done, but...I am working on getting better. I have this new job, now, where I can use my talents and my energies for good. I am in a military organization, and I'm helping with training soldiers to use newer technologies to save the galaxy. I work with the Director, he is a pioneer in this field, and he is very dedicated to the cause. Whenever there is something that I don't understand, whenever I don't know if something is right or wrong, I just ask him, and he teaches me. He's giving me the guidance that no one ever gave me, and it is going to be a long process, but...I'm learning, I promise. Please, just...Give me some time."
"I'm not falling for that one."
"I'm not lying--"
"You lied to me for thirteen years."
"Because I was afraid you would leave me--"
"That's why you burned my house down?!"
"I tried to explain, but you wouldn't listen." he pouts and starts speaking like a scared child "You were yelling at me, and you hit me, you promised you would never hit me...!"
"I GAVE YOU. ONE SLAP. AFTER YOU RUINED MY LIFE ON PURPOSE."
"You shouldn't have hit me..." he mumbles, shaking slightly, in a mixture of fear and rage.
"I am going to hit you right now if you don't get the hell out of here."
"And throw away thirteen years of marriage like this?!"
"You did it first."
Price stays still, mouth open without saying anything. He hears the Director yell something like 'Counselor, hurry up or I'm leaving you here!' from afar.
"I have to go. The Director is calling me."
"I hope for his own sake that he never fucks you." he says with such gratuitous venom, with such cruelty, that it spites Price.
"Too late. Well, see you around." and with that, he leaves the room, only to pretend everything is alright once he reaches the Director. Of course, what he said was a lie: the Director never bothered to look at him for more than two seconds in a row or remember his name. Which, in fact, always made him feel bad, but now this memory hurts for two reason: the explanation he had given about getting better? He really used to believe it, and the Director betrayed his trust with that.
The worst thing is that he feels an emotion he hadn't felt in a long time, shame. He's ashamed that CT has to witness this, to see him as something other than the cold professional he was in Project Freelancer. This wasn't a calculated risk like when he showed South that he was a troubled child, it's a flash that came up without his consent and that shows how truly alone he is. Especially now that he still likes to cling to the idea of the Director but knows for a fact that the man never cared about him.