(cw: child abuse, graphic description of physical abuse, self victim-blaming)
Dean's gotten his ass handed to him more than a few times but this--
This is just fucking horrifying. It makes him want to puke, watching this kid get treated like less than dirt. Dean hasn't slept in over a week when Dad gets back to the motel. He was gone for three weeks, this time. Certainly not the worst, but he didn't check in very often and that always makes Dean more anxious.
Dean's been simultaneously hoping for and dreading Dad coming back because he's at his wits end.
Sammy's missing.
Sam's missing and Dean has done nothing but search for him since he woke up to see an empty bed and Sam's bags gone. Most of the cash they had left was gone too, even the shit Dean squirreled away for emergencies that only Sam and him knew about.
Dean should've called Dad the moment he figured out that Sam took off, he knows that, but a part of him was hoping he would find his brother before Dad got back. That maybe Sammy would get whatever this is out of his system and come back himself. But no such luck.
Dean barely even remembers the conversation that took place when Dad pulled up. It's all a blur. All he remembers is the flat tone of Dad's voice and the relief that Dad was here. Dad was going to fix it. Dean didn't have to do this on his own anymore.
He isn't surprised when the punch hits. He had been expecting it, to be honest. It isn't the first time Dad's hit him, not by far. It isn't even the first time that he's pulled out the belt, but it's definitely the worst. He's never seen Dad like this before. Dad gets loud when he's angry. He shouts and yells and stomps around, and Dean sends Sammy out of the room with five bucks they can't afford and tells him to get something from the gas station. This-- this is a silent fury.
Dean almost wants to protest when Dad told him to take off his shirt and put his arms up against the wall. They don't have time for this, Sammy's gone and Dean doesn't know if he's safe (or if he's alive, a voice in his head says).
But he doesn't. He doesn't because this is different from those other times-- this isn't about fucking up a hunt, or shirking his training, or giving Sam too much freedom; this is about Sam's safety. This is about how Dean has one job above everything else, and that's keeping Sam safe.
And Dean has completely failed. He feels so fucking useless, he wants to puke.
When the leather hits his back, Dean feels like he can finally breathe again. Fuck does it hurt, but Dean doesn't let himself make a sound. He just cries silently from the pain and the relief. It grounds him, in a way. He felt so unmoored and panicked before that this has planted him firmly back in his body.
He's earned this, he thinks. He deserves this, and once it's over Dad is gonna find Sam and it'll all be okay.
Dean barely manages to stay aware of his surroundings as he falls in and out of the memory. Dean hasn't let himself think of Flagstaff for years, and for good reason. It's the biggest testament to his uselessness he has.
He sees an approaching tall, unnatural-looking figure before he gets dragged under again.
Re: Interstellar Overdrive
Dean's gotten his ass handed to him more than a few times but this--
This is just fucking horrifying. It makes him want to puke, watching this kid get treated like less than dirt.
Dean hasn't slept in over a week when Dad gets back to the motel. He was gone for three weeks, this time. Certainly not the worst, but he didn't check in very often and that always makes Dean more anxious.
Dean's been simultaneously hoping for and dreading Dad coming back because he's at his wits end.
Sammy's missing.
Sam's missing and Dean has done nothing but search for him since he woke up to see an empty bed and Sam's bags gone. Most of the cash they had left was gone too, even the shit Dean squirreled away for emergencies that only Sam and him knew about.
Dean should've called Dad the moment he figured out that Sam took off, he knows that, but a part of him was hoping he would find his brother before Dad got back. That maybe Sammy would get whatever this is out of his system and come back himself. But no such luck.
Dean barely even remembers the conversation that took place when Dad pulled up. It's all a blur. All he remembers is the flat tone of Dad's voice and the relief that Dad was here. Dad was going to fix it. Dean didn't have to do this on his own anymore.
He isn't surprised when the punch hits. He had been expecting it, to be honest. It isn't the first time Dad's hit him, not by far. It isn't even the first time that he's pulled out the belt, but it's definitely the worst. He's never seen Dad like this before. Dad gets loud when he's angry. He shouts and yells and stomps around, and Dean sends Sammy out of the room with five bucks they can't afford and tells him to get something from the gas station. This-- this is a silent fury.
Dean almost wants to protest when Dad told him to take off his shirt and put his arms up against the wall. They don't have time for this, Sammy's gone and Dean doesn't know if he's safe (or if he's alive, a voice in his head says).
But he doesn't. He doesn't because this is different from those other times-- this isn't about fucking up a hunt, or shirking his training, or giving Sam too much freedom; this is about Sam's safety. This is about how Dean has one job above everything else, and that's keeping Sam safe.
And Dean has completely failed. He feels so fucking useless, he wants to puke.
When the leather hits his back, Dean feels like he can finally breathe again. Fuck does it hurt, but Dean doesn't let himself make a sound. He just cries silently from the pain and the relief. It grounds him, in a way. He felt so unmoored and panicked before that this has planted him firmly back in his body.
He's earned this, he thinks. He deserves this, and once it's over Dad is gonna find Sam and it'll all be okay.
Dean barely manages to stay aware of his surroundings as he falls in and out of the memory. Dean hasn't let himself think of Flagstaff for years, and for good reason. It's the biggest testament to his uselessness he has.
He sees an approaching tall, unnatural-looking figure before he gets dragged under again.