wildestlogs | Winter has come to lay too close beside me.

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tim drake

Winter has come to lay too close beside me.

Who: Tim Drake, Elle, Lil Cato and/or Crowley
What: Just checking in
Where: Likely towards the edges of the encampment
When: Non-specific time post the big meeting pre-move
Warnings/Notes: None at this time.

Tim has been getting his feet back under him, if not the rug beneath them, after the spontaneous onset of powers. He is still spending most of this time at the fringe of the group, and never in a crowd, but that isn't overly abnormal for him. He only goes for big gatherings if he's drug by friends or forced by the circumstances of being Bruce Wayne's son. He is, at least, not quarantining in the woods or trying to excise the magic.

The meeting has left a bad taste in his mouth, though. For something that was meant to protect the interests of everyone at camp, the only concessions seem to have been made by people who did want formal group leadership, like Kon and himself, and then to have it present in a borderline fascist manner - which was the anti-leadership contingency had been scared of - seemed like a slap in the face that only he noticed. That neat packaging of "things that we all seem to agree on" very tidily sweeps away any opposing points of view or abstentions and repositions it as full ascent.

He is not in a great mood.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Little Cato sees him after spending some time drawing, pretty much bouncing his way over in a ball of energy, tail flicking around.

He comes over, slams a drawing down in front of Tim and says, "Bam! This is for you"

It is a crude drawing of what looks like Tim, slapping someone with a rolled up piece of paper. There's an arrow pointing to it with the word "votes" because it's the only way he can really communicate that.

Tim is slapping an alien that looks like a gian green thumb with pointy teeth.

"It's, like, symbolic."

He's mostly right in that definition though it's hard to tell what he means by it.

[ Tim blinks at the picture that’s been bammed down in front of him. He doesn’t have the sort of little brother that actually gives him drawings, but he imagines it must feel just like this. His lips are trembling with trying to keep the smile off his face while he takes stock of the image. ]

Thanks?

[ He doesn’t recognize what sort of alien he’s supposed to be hitting, but mercifully, it doesn’t look like anyone at camp. Tim gives Cato a wry smile. ]

In the future, can you draw me rocking humans with the vote? I’ve already had people scold me for not listing off every type of life form in the camp. I don’t want them to think I’ve got a problem with the color green.

[ He picks it up and studies it, trying to find the symbology aside from “Tim thinks you’re stupid”. ]

You ever think about being a political cartoonist?

I possibly would if I knew what it was. I don't know what either of those words mean.

[His education sure was spotty.]

I asked my dad and he told me a little about votes, though. We don't have those where I grew up.

[He reaches around the paper points at the green guy.]

That's the Lord Commander. He represents the kind of leaders that don't let people decide who's in charge.

[A dictator representing other dictators.]

People kinda jumped on you but your idea was just another way of fighting people like that. No leaders at all is one way, but everyone getting to decide who is the leader is another.

[He leans against a nearby rock, crossing his arms.]

I don't think they got that you were going for the same thing of being fair, just with a different way. And like, I get it? I grew up under a dictator, it messes you up.

[He tone gets a little darker and more distant.]

But I also know that people like that don't care if other people don't want them in charge. They definitely don't let something like votes happen.

Don’t worry about it. It means someone who gets paid to draw funny pictures that react to and comment on politics, but it doesn’t sound like your world is ready for a political cartoonist. Dictators aren’t known for their sense of humour.

[ A dictatorship, to the point where voting knowledge has to be brought in by outsiders.

And Lil Cato wants to get home to his crew. It always made sense to Tim, but now more so, knowing there’s something with the stunning subtlety to call himself “Lord Commander” ruling his planet. ]

I would definitely slap your Lord Commander in the face with votes.

[ He’d probably crack him in the face with something a lot harder, if given the opportunity. He looks, and sounds, like a green Darkseid. ]

People… hear what they expect to hear. Sometimes, it’s what they want to hear. I think there’s some people in camp who think that any power corrupts absolutely, and that’s both not true and also… they just diluted my idea of a council until the council was big enough for the whole camp. So everyone could still get corrupted - but I don’t want you to worry. No one’s going to let that happen.

[ Least of all Tim, even though he’d be happy with an elected leader. He’d also be fine leading a coup. ]

I'm not worried about it. I mean, if it did happen, my crew always tried to kick the Lord Commander's butt. Even though it's been hard to make sure he stays dead.

So if it happened here, I'd be fighting it too.

[He's clearly not worried about it. Because he's skilled enough to at least try to fight it.]

[And also seems as inured to fighting as most superheroes, despite his size.]

I just wanted you to know I thought it was a good idea. And that you should keep saying good ideas even if people sometimes don't like them.

It's good when people speak up like that. Try to make sure things are okay for everyone.

[His voice goes a little soft and his body language is more vulnerable.]

People don't always try to do that.

[He plops down to sit near Tim on the ground, clearly taking an interest now. He has decided that Tim is probably good people, willing to speak up to try to prevent bad things from happening.]

[And he's interested in what he has to say. And has questions.]

[ He appears to have passed some sort of interest test, because Tim now has a companion. This is somehow always the way his life goes, someone just decides that he is part of a we. And then the we is added to.

But this is a very sudden we. ]

Oh, I will. I’m full of ideas that nobody likes. I don’t know what the equivalent spending the pizza money on a DVR so Tim can have some peace and quiet, or why workouts don’t get skipped for group trips to the tattoo parlour every week, but I’ll figure them out.

[ Tim is very carefully folding up the drawing so that the creases interfere with the lines as little as possible. He tucks it away in one of the pouches of his belt for safe keeping. ]

What do you think? What good idea can I throw myself behind next, that people aren’t paying much attention to?

[ Children who’ve experienced trauma don’t always phrase things directly about themselves. They express it about others, in fiction, in art. It’s important to not interrogate them when you’re concerned by things like people don’t always do that. ]

[He definitely doesn't catch some of those words. Pizza. DVR. He knows tattoos though, they're pretty rad. He gets the sense it's group activities. Friends. A crew?]

Well, I think - I think it'd be good for some people to learn the different kind of ways there can be people choosing things. Like...about how those things happen in different ways in other worlds.

[There's a thoughtful pause, and he then he opens up, immediately. Because he is a mostly open person. A trusting person. Someone that lets himself be vulnerable, even after everything. There's still daring when it comes to doing that hasn't been beaten out of him.]

[He just admits it.]

Like...I'd like to know some of the ways people do that in different places.

[His tone is extremely inquisitive.] I definitely have some questions.

[He figures out how to explain what he doesn't know.]

I don't really know what to ask to learn about it, though? Like I don't know where to start.

When I was still being tutored I only got taught, like, science. Math. Engineering. Military history. Ventrexians - my people - they were at war for a thousand years before the Lord Commander got them to work for him.

So I only know history stuff about war. Not about good stuff? Like ways people can do things different.

[Another long pause, and he looks at the ground. His ears flatten just slightly.]

And even in the stuff I was being tutored in, other than what I kept learning to keep our ship running, I'm kind of behind. I stopped learning stuff for three years when the Lord Commander had me.

[A sentence that speaks volumes. Libraries even.]

[He looks up again.]

Can you tell me about that stuff? Like. Governments. Or different history that teaches you things? You're the first person I've heard talking about some of it.

[ That’s a big ask for someone who’s never taught. Reduce and refine the breadth of human governments and soft sciences to pass along to someone who only just learned what voting is.

If nothing else, Tim will need time to figure out what that should entail. ]

We can do that, but it will help if we get some books to work with. We can both keep an eye out for things that might make it more interesting than me just telling you what I remember from AP Government.

[ The books won’t be the same, but they can read them and analyze them. The kind of understanding that he’s after isn’t found in memorizing the details of the Teapot Dome Scandal. It’s appreciating why there’s a need to install anti-bribery checks and audits. You can do that with any country’s history. ]

We can start small. There’s a lot of different ways to vote, if you count all the specific mechanisms you can use, but there’s a few details that are always important. One, that the vote leave a public record that can be tallied later, unless it’s something so obvious that no one will ever contest it, and two, whether the ballot is open or closed. That’s the difference between whether or not the people around you will know how you voted. It can have a huge impact on if and how people vote.

[ Tim leaves off here. It’s not a test, exactly, but he’s very curious to see if Cato grasps why it has an impact and what that may be. What with the lack of any democracy and being an alien, Tim wants to gauge how Cato’s brain works.

And if he also determines that Tim doesn’t agree with the lack of a proper vote and record of the decisions, good. ]

[Little Cato tilts his head and narrows his eyes. The gears in his head can almost be heard clanking and grinding. This isn't the kind of thinking he usually has to do. He's very much all about the "thinking on his feet" kind of thinking. He's definitely rusty at the book learning and interpretation kind of thinking.]

I can see how that'd be a big deal.

If the votes aren't recorded then people could lie about winning and getting voted in as a leader.

And if it's public, people might be afraid to vote the way they really want to. The person that winds up in charge can punish anyone that voted against them. Or their supporters could.

You got it.

[ Tim gives him a smile and, thinking of how Dick would mix teasing and praise when Tim was a similar age, starts to reach to tousle Cato’s hair (fur?).

On second thought, maybe it would be offensive, like trying to pet a human, so he stops before he gets near Cato’s head. ]

Nice job. That’s the sort of thinking that can get people in trouble when they’re living under a dictator, so you have to be careful to not let the wrong people know what’s on your mind. Once ideas like lying about their support and strength get out in the world, it gets harder for the dictator to maintain the status quo.

Elle has seen Tim keeping to the edge of the group. She's left him alone because she knows there's people looking after him, but with how freaked he seemed to be about his sudden powers, then some of his reactions at the meeting, she's a little concerned.

She's weirdly nervous about approaching him. All of their interactions so far have felt a little hostile on his end, but she isn't sure if that's just her being oversensitive.

But she takes a deep breath and sucks it up. She'll never know if she doesn't actually talk to him, and she's kind of worried about him. Not for any one reason, just that his behavior has made her feel kind of concerned.

She approaches within his sight line and takes careful note of how he reacts to seeing her walk up.

"Hey," her tone is softer than it was at the meeting-- that was very much her 'public speaking voice'. She doesn't have a specific agenda for talking to him right now so she isn't approaching it like a task or mission.

"We've talked on the mirrors a few times but I don't think I've properly introduced myself. I'm Elle," she hesitantly offers her hand. Her body language is much less assertive in this one-on-one interaction. If anything, she almost looks nervous. And exhausted.

He hasn't been avoiding any one particular person (or even a subset of people); it's perhaps best to say that he's been preferentially limiting interaction to what's absolutely necessary, or to the people he's already comfortable with.

He can see Elle coming, and everything (direction, sightlines) indicates that she's coming to talk to him. Comporting himself, Tim tries not to assume why - there is, after all, any number of things to talk about in regards to what's needed around the camp, and he's not entirely useless with some of them. With an expression of calm interest, Tim greets her with the confidence of a Wayne.

"Hi Elle. It's a pleasure to meet you." While he speaks, he weighs the decision to shake hands or explain that he's still on edge with his newfound powers, but she seems nervous. He doesn't want to compound that with his own insecurities and, so, takes the offered hand with a solid handshake that doesn't fit his age. "I'm Tim."

She's a little surprised that he takes her hand, considering how freaked out he was before to even be near other people. His solid handshake is met with one just as professional, if a bit daintier. This is the meeting of two teenagers who started learning etiquette at a very young age.

"The pleasure is mine," she responds with a smile and a voice that very much says 'I've spent a lot of time being paraded around by my parents and have mastered the art of obligatory introductions.'

Her expression relaxes into a something much more genuine and friendly when she lets go. "Fellow rich kid, huh?"

No day glow effects or surge of powers is a genuine relief. Kon’s diagnosis of it being emotionally tied to perceived need is looking increasingly on point. Thank you, Elle, for unintentionally participating in the ongoing control experiment.

Tim withdraws his hand at the appropriate moment, neither too long or too short to avoid any awkwardness there. And, yes, he thinks he recognizes the signs of what money can buy in teenagers: comportment, manners, education, and confidence.

But his friends don’t have more than middle class roots at best, and they’re all smart, loyal, and brave. Manners… are overrated.

“That isn’t how I generally introduce myself.” It’s tempting to match her defrost with some sort of oh-ho-ho isn’t splendid that we’re both rich kids. He’s not as good as Bruce at leaning into that rich persona when he’s not working an angle, and the only angle to work here is Elle. There’s no press, no money, and no real reason to brag about being a rich kid than to establish common ground.

Frankly, if he can’t do that without the bank accounts that he doesn’t have access to, then Tim doesn’t want to. She came very to talk to him, so he’s giving her the space to talk.

Edited 2021-12-13 02:15 (UTC)

Elle laughs. "Yeah, me neither," her cheeks color a bit in embarrassment, but her posture turns far more loose and casual.

Yeah, that was a pretty stupid thing to say as part of a greeting. She just recognized the body language of someone used to putting their least offensive face forward in public settings.

Her face turns a bit more serious as she returns to the reason she approached Tim in the first place. She's momentarily unsure what she should start with-- his obvious unease at the meeting? That might get his hackles up, so it's probably better to start with his newfound powers. They at least have some common ground there.

"How're you doing with the whole-" she does jazz hands to emphasize her point "-sudden magic, thing? I mean, other than the obvious."

Which is freaked out and very concerned.

"Have you had the chance to get a feel for how it works?"

She isn't angling for him to let her help, or anything, she just wants to check in about how he's feeling.

A folllow-up isn’t really that alarming, given the public manifestation of his healing power and his subsequent request for more information through the mirror. Elle is looking for the resolution to the story, or for reassurance that he’s not going to set off a hard light explosion in the middle of the night.

“It’s fine,” he says simply. Tim considers the obvious to be that he still doesn’t want the power, even if it’s beneficial, nor does he want outside forces messing with his body to grant said power. Admittedly, he only labels this as ‘the obvious’ to avoid talking about it. It’s very much a part of putting on the least offensive mask; he can’t adequately explain why being a metahuman permanently would upend his life without painting his adoptive father as someone who hates metahumans. To a metahuman. Absolutely not, group dynamics is strained enough as it is.

“It’s been confirmed as a healing… aura, for lack of a better term.” He refuses to allow anything like glow or sparkle be the term that catches on. Kon will try to get him to use the name Glowworm. “So there’s no need to worry about me.”

Elle is happy to hear that it isn't anything dangerous.

"It's still a shitty position to be in. Waking up one day and having new powers you've never dealt with before-- it's not an easy thing," Elle speaks from experience. "So it's okay if you're still figuring out how to deal with it."

She pauses for a moment to figure out how to approach the next topic.

This one she's much more visibly hesitant to bring up. She doesn't want to overstep her bounds, but she also wants to check in.

"Feel free to tell me to fuck off, but I noticed that there were a couple of times back at the meeting that you seemed pretty upset. I wanted to know if there's anything I can do, or at least if there's something in my behavior that I can change," she's not trying to make it all about herself, but Tim's done enough deflecting for her to understand that he isn't going to take well to direct care and sympathy, especially from a virtual stranger.

“I think you have me confused with someone else,” Tim says blandly. There are a number of ways that his behaviour at the meeting could construed - silent, introverted, rude, flat, angry. ‘Upset’ is one of the bigger stretches, as he’d been careful to school his face.

He wonders if it’s confusion, a guess, or projection. The only person he’d seen as anything that could be taken as upset was Kon, who has 5 inches and 50 pounds on Tim (although Tim has an extra quarter pound of hair). “I didn’t participate at the meeting. I was barely present.”

Elle raises an eyebrow. If she wasn't sure before, his response confirmed it. Careful neutrality can be a tell in and of itself.

"Dude, reading people is my job. It's one of the things I do best. Like I said, you can tell me to fuck off and I'll leave it alone, no questions asked," okay, maybe that's a stretch, but she wouldn't be a dick about it. "But don't insult me."

She takes a breath. "If not upset, then let's say you had a negative reaction to some things that were said, a few of them said by me. I just wanted to see if you were good, or if there's anything I should do differently.

I know what I sounded like back there, but I do want us all to work together and get along, if possible."

“I don’t think you’re reading me as well as you think,” Tim said quietly, “because, if you knew me, then you would know that I prefer to speak for myself, if I have anything to say. Let’s not say or all agree anything.”

If she minds her own words as well as he does, that should be enough to let Elle know what he disagreed with. Tim isn’t very inclined to give her tips to improve her performance and leadership pointers when she’s using them to put words in the mouths of the silent.

“I’m not trying to make any waves. I want everyone to get along as best they can. You made a point about how we’re allowed to have private lives, secrets, and social groups.”

He isn’t going to explicitly tell her to fuck off, but his thoughts and emotions aren’t a matter for public discussion - and Elle is very much public and likely to stay that way, with her blatant prying. Tim can be chatty when he’s comfortable, but demanding a performance isn’t the way to deal with his uptight nature.

Shutting her down won’t assuage her curiosity, so he doesn’t expect he’s improved the situation.

Elle resists the urge to roll her eyes. She wasn't talking about putting words in his mouth-- just that he had a reaction to some things that were said, which is obviously true, so she's pretty sure that she read him just fine.

Yeah, Elle understands what he's trying to say. She wouldn't agree that her talking to him privately counts as public discussion, but she would understand why he feels that way.

Elle takes a deep breath and goes to lean against a nearby tree. She doesn't want to come off as aggressive by just planting herself in his space.

"I get that. Speaking for other people was shitty."

She would do the same thing again, if she had to, but that doesn't mean it was a cool thing to do.

"I just..." she runs a hand through her hair. Where before there was nervousness and hesitancy, Tim is now getting to see a glimpse of how fucking stressed this is all making her.

"Have you ever had to mediate between people who really didn't want to get along?" she asks. It's the best way she can think to explain herself.

"Sometimes, the longer those discussions go, the worse things get. For all that people, myself included, talked about leadership and organization, that's not what the meeting was for. That meeting was damage control."

She looks down at her hands, trying to put the many, many thoughts and feelings she has into something resembling coherence.

"We can't afford for resentment to build. People got scared and were lashing out-- people were talking about going off on their own. That may not be physically possible, but as a group we can't afford to alienate each other."

Edited 2021-12-14 02:05 (UTC)

“Elle, stop.”

Tim stands up and dusts himself off. He’s not going to listen to a remix of the talking points from the same angle, with no changes or effort to readdress the concerns of anyone who wasn’t voting for a leaderless free-for-all.

“I was at the same meeting, and I listened to everyone. I’m not accepting any narrative but my own. No leader or council was elected, no official charter was drawn up, and you weren’t elected press secretary. Please stop using the royal ‘we’ and phrases like “let’s say” with me, or I’m going to go gather wood.”

It’s not a threat, but a way to walk away from the conversation for now. Tim has had to mediate arguments and get teams of people to work together - it’s thankless, and you take a lot of heat for it. Which is why he’s trying not to identify that chunk of the ‘damage’ was his brother’s existence as a former police officer, because, again, he doesn’t want to argue. “You can consider that one of my ground rules, and you should also consider that I haven’t brought up the leadership discussion or the meeting since the meeting.”

Elle stops and considers his words. She didn't even realize she was doing that-- using 'we' and stuff. It's just... habit.

"You're right," it pains her to admit it, but it's true. She gets so caught up in her own perspective that she forgets what it looks like to other people. What it does to other people.

"I'm the one that approached you and I'm acting like I have to sell you on something when I don't. I shouldn't. Hell, I don't even know how you really feel about it."

She purses her lips. This... really isn't going how she wanted it to.

"Okay. No bullshit, no narrative, no putting words into other people's mouths," she's almost reminding herself. Her life is built on rhetoric-- strip that away and what's even left?

"You've been keeping to yourself, or to Kon and Dick since he got here, and suddenly gaining new powers is really fucking scary," she says with intense emotion. "Then I saw what looked to me like you being upset, so I wanted to ask you how you're feeling. I... shouldn't have made it about me, or try to reassure you about the meeting when I don't even know how you feel. I shouldn't have even brought it up the way I did.

I just wanted to offer myself as someone to talk to who'll listen and won't judge; someone who's willing to help, if you need it. Not that I did a very good job, but still. That's... that's what I'm trying to do."

She definitely fucked it up along the way, and got caught up in her own anxieties, but that's the core reason of why she wanted to talk to him in the first.

"That all probably sounds self-important and self-absorbed. I probably haven't made the best impression and-- fine. I can deal with that, not everyone has to get along."

Knowing people don't like her for reasons she doesn't fully understand is a cause of terrible anxiety, but she can deal with it. It wouldn't be fair to Tim, or anyone else, otherwise.

Elle just wants everyone to feel safe and cared for. She knows she can't always do that on an individual level, no matter how much she may try, but she tries to do her part to keep the group from tearing itself apart. She wants to take care of everyone so much that it feels like a stone in her chest, weighing her down with fear and worry. She knows that nothing she does will be enough-- but doesn't she have to try?

"You, Kon, and Dick seem like good people. I want to get to know you better and learn how to work with you. I want us to get along, if possible. If not, that's okay."

At least Tim can make an accurate call on how he feels about her, now. He has a better idea than most of what she's trying to do and why.

"I should probably shut up now, I probably should've shut up about five minutes ago, but I have a bad habit of talking to fill space when I'm nervous."

This is absolutely true, and she doesn't love that she has a social behavior that she isn't 100% in control of.

Edited 2021-12-14 03:27 (UTC)

Tim waits out the rambling; he prefers to give people the space they need to talk. It’s informative.

(Sometimes, he pretends to still be tied up to not interrupt a villain mid-monologue. You never know what you might miss, and you’re not really in danger until they say ‘I have to kill you now’ with the theme-appropriate pun.)

Still, he appreciates that his request, which he’d tried to be subtle about earlier, has finally clicked. Tim can have a conversation with Elle; he’s not interested in the spirit of the camp as manifested in Elle. He nods at the list of no’s while she rattles them off, but otherwise holds commentary to the end.

“Dick’s my brother, and Kon’s my best friend.” She likely already knows that, but it doesn’t hurt to restate that there’s a reason the three are already close. “I’m lucky. I have a built-in support system, so when I freaked out about having a metahuman ability, they’re who I went to because they’re who I’d go to under normal circumstances. It’s easier when you don’t have to explain who you are to get advice. They already know me, and they’re the best people I know.”

It’s a gentle nudge that they might be better options, if she’s looking for friends that won’t be so slow to trust. Tim knows he takes comparatively forever to warm up to people. He can’t blame Batman for that.

“I… don’t know if I’ll take you up on the offer. Maybe, once I know you, but I’m not great with new people. I’ve gotten very good at occasionally pretending to be an extrovert by studying them. Dick and Kon are secretly part of a small long term experiment on the effects of surrounding an introvert with the most gregarious, loveable extroverts the world has to offer.”

The reward for authenticity is authenticity, which in Tim’s case means he’ll let the lid off the box he’s stuffed his sense of humour in and select safe information to share. “I wouldn’t deliberately try to not get along with anyone, or to avoid other people entirely. I’m just - look a good Saturday night for me is reading white papers on my computer until 4 am. I’m boring.”

He doesn’t comment on the first impression (wouldn’t offer it either way), doesn’t delve into his feelings on any of it, but she gave him a lot to address. Tim thinks he’s given her enough to go on.

Edited 2021-12-14 06:02 (UTC)

Elle snorts at his comment on Dick and Kon. Like, genuinely snorts. Kind of loudly.

She's clearly embarrassed by it because she immediately bring her hand up to her nose and is suddenly looking everywhere but at Tim.

"That... that makes sense. I'm glad you have people you trust here."

Elle doesn't. She's not trying to make it about herself, but it's a hard thing to forget. No matter how friendly and open she acts, or tries to be, in the end she doesn't truly trust anyone here. Dan's probably the closest thing she has to someone she trusts but she doesn't want to have to depend on him the same way so many others seem to. She doesn't want to be another person that just takes from him. And even then, it's not true trust. Not really.

Tim showed Elle a bit of himself, it's only fair that she returns the favor.

"It may seem contradictory but..." She clenches and unclenches her fists a couple of times. Is this moment of vulnerability worth the risk? She'll never know if she doesn't try.

"I'm not great with being around people either. Especially this many. It's... overwhelming."

She hates having to constantly be on, but she also has no idea to turn herself off around others. She doesn't know if she's even capable of that.

She quickly recomposes herself after that comment. She feels like she revealed something she shouldn't have, some weakness or vulnerability for Tim to exploit. She doesn't think he will, but the feeling is there nonetheless.

"If you do want to talk to someone who knows what it's like to wake up one day and feel like your entire existence has been fundamentally changed because of powers you've never had before, I'm here. It's cool if not.

Or if you want to discuss philosophy or something in a setting that doesn't feel like every word you say is an opportunity to judge your character. I am interested in the stuff you were saying on the mirror. I don't fundamentally disagree with all of it either. I just... get caught up in the intensity, sometimes. It would be cool to hear what you have to say," she gives him a cautious half-smile.

She does want to hear him out without feeling like she has to protect other people's fears and beliefs (not that anyone asked her to, but that's somewhat besides the point). She does think he has valuable insight and wants the chance to actually discuss it with him. She appreciates hearing different perspectives.

“I think you’re doing well. You spoke quite a bit, when you had the pillow,” Tim says reassuringly. He didn’t agree with her, but that doesn’t change the quality of her speech so much as the quality of the speech. “And it gets easier. I had to start talking in front of big groups when I started working for the family business.”

(Except when he has to pull off crazy plans, like faking a spinal cord injury. That can make a press conference stressful.)

Also stressful? Hearing his entire situation summed up in one sentence. She has no idea how much of his life is hinged on being Batman’s sidekick. Including his adoptive family. Prerequisite 1: no metas.

(His friends would still have him, but not Bruce.) He won’t be talking about it for the foreseeable future with an outsider. Maybe not bluntly with friends, either. He’s not ready for that.

“Why would you want to talk about philosophy and governance? I already said most of what I wanted to say, and Kon did a good job saying the rest of it.” The only reason Tim hasn’t left is because he wants her to know that he considers the topic buried. “Even if you don’t judge me for it, someone’s going to see it as rabble-rousing or an attempt to sway the group opinion. No, thank you. There’s absolutely no incentive to discuss it further. It was made very clear what the group thinks of my family and my philosophy. If you want to talk about who makes the best stew, or where everyone gets their pillows, you know where to find me.”

He lives in the camp, same as everyone else. Tim starts walking backwards towards the outskirts of camp, making good on his promise to go find firewood. “And thank you for checking in on me. Most of them didn’t.”

Which does make her very interesting.

Elle almost laughs when he starts reassuring her and gives her advice. Yeah, that's not what she was looking for. She's good in front of crowds, but that doesn't mean she always likes them, especially when there's no real possibility of getting away from them.

"My parents dragged me to a lot of company parties. I don't envy you," she commiserates.

Elle furrows her brows. That's not what she meant whatsoever. It was supposed to be an offer of good faith, that she wants to listen to what he has to say in a less intense setting. That she wants to hear what he considers his narrative to be. She already knows her side of things, and the sides of the people she was trying to help, but not so much the other side of things. She's trying to get a balanced perspective here, dammit.

Plus, she think it's kind of ridiculous to take everyone's reactions that personally. There was only a small portion of them that outright argued with his suggestion, and none of them were arguing because they think that Tim is a bad person, but because they had been hurt by the institutions he was suggesting the group should model. Yeah, they reacted extremely to him suggesting who should be on his council, but he literally just suggested people because of their experience in said institutions. Even Dick pointed out that suggesting him based on his experience as a cop was probably a bad point of reference.

But he clearly doesn't want to hear anything else about it, so she'll leave it. For now.

She watches him walk away having accomplished her goal (checking in to see how he's doing), but still feeling like she failed, somehow.

Fuck, she's going to have to take some time and process this whole interaction. Tim's given her a lot to think about.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Winter has come to lay too close beside me.

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