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wildestlogs2022-03-19 10:03 pm
wildestmods) wrote in wildestlogs2022-03-19 10:03 pm
THE PARLIAMENT OF TREES
THE PARLIAMENT OF TREES
[]It happens after most things have been discussed at Elrond's Council, but before anyone has left.]
[It is unreal. Reality warps and trees shoot up from the ground around the meeting area of the council. They don't destroy Rivendell but it's as if Rivendell is suddenly shoved away and off in the distance. Civilization retreats at disorienting speeds and suddenly the squad, Elrond, and his guests, in the middle of the woods, under massive trees that stretch up into the sky. The trees are taller than skyscrapers and thicker than the average lighthouse. Their branches intertwine as they reach up to the sky in a way where the branches seem to form almost a natural cathedral.]
[The ones immediately circling them also have gnarled faces. They chant in an unknown language, in deep musical tones with voices nearly indistinguishable from the creaking of branches, then speak to them in weathered voices.]
You have been summoned by the Parliament of Trees.
[Elrond stands, almost imperious in his expression. Though his voice is calm, he clearly has taken issue with the sudden abduction.]
A summoning we would have answered readily, if asked. It is considered courteous among our peoples, if messengers have been sent, for one to send word of agreement to a meeting first. [A tilt of his head and a slight narrowing of his eyes] But the Green truly does prefer to offer little forewarning when drawing others away from their homes, it seems.
❧ Free-for-all Post: This event will be in "free-for-all" format, meaning that threadhopping is encouraged and that threading should be treated in the same conversational way as network posts with branching threads. This post will only contain the part with Elrond and others. The agents of the Green will be set up with their own Q&A post after they've had time to talk to Elrond and co.
❧ Joint network Post. Due to the magic mirrors having the ability to be widened and set to float, any characters that don't (or can't) attend the meeting will be able to still participate. The mirrors will have been transported too and still broadcasting.
❧ Post in bracketspam format. We're trying to keep a brisk pace and allow a network vibe where speech matters more than action, for some talking heads rp.
❧ NPCing. The mods will handle all the fantasy npcs and some may show up that aren't specifically listed in this post. There are many people at the Council.
❧ It's okay if the conversation gets messy. It's a giant group that's going to be talking here. That means it's natural if side conversations happen, interruptions happen, or things get missed because people are talking over each other and switching conversational partners.
❧ A private discussion will happen later. A crossroads post and private conversation among the squad will happen after the Council, and after the meeting with the Green, so they can decide for themselves what to do next and how to handle what they've learned.
❧ Please only post to the sub-threads below and not to the main post. This allows the mods to add some if we need to.
❧ Please treat each appearance in chronological order. It may be good to spend some time talking to Gaia first or reading her answers before moving on.
Re: GAIA
[Tim doesn't get this emotional often and he knows he gets a bit embarrassed about it.]
[Kon's voice is very gentle.]
That's not how emotional biz works.
You got a bunch of us back but that doesn't magically erase how bad it hurt to lose us. Or how scared you must feel about the prospect of losing us again.
[He's finally honest. Finally brings it around to the reason he knows that Tim wonders why he can't just shove his emotions down.]
I know it's like...
Bats just breezes past things the second the problem is fixed, so it probably feels like 'hey it's fixed, they're back now, so I should stop feeling this way' but the reason you don't just instantly snap to it is because of how much you care.
And because of how you can open up a lot more than he can. Which sucks in some ways because the hurt can get etched in deeper.
[He puts his hands on his shoulders.]
But the way you care, some of the ways you're different from him, that's also why your friends love you so much.
Re: GAIA
(Kon put him in a time-out to deal with it. Tim can only hide in the time-out until Kon loses interest or is distracted by the continuing discussion with the Green.) ]
It should be how it works. Cassie’s not messed up. Dick’s a rock.
[ And Bruce is an entire plateau of stoicism. Tim’s supposed to be like him, but Bruce doesn’t lose his shit when Selina Kyle pulls some risky stunt. ]
Yes, I’m scared of losing you again. I told everyone that already, so you don’t have to go telling Dick about that.
[ He doesn’t need to go over the same talking points again. Now with the added trauma of publicly underlining how much he cares for Kon and it being such an inconsequential footnote that Kon … still completely ignores it.
(It’s for the best.)
Tim huffs a snort at the all your friends love you, but doesn’t argue that he knows, or that it’s not enough, or if they loved him they’d protect him from getting hurt like that again. (If he wants to be protected, he has to lose the cape.) ]
I don’t want to open up this much. I hate it. I hate how it makes me feel, and I hate that it takes everything I’m good at and turns it into a liability. For nothing. I’m having this conversation for nothing, and I’m going to be furious at myself later for putting this on you.
Re: GAIA
[He doesn't say "and also losing me messed her up so badly we couldn't keep having a relationship" because he doesn't want to speak ill of her.]
[And he starts a little at "you don't have to go telling Dick about that." So, okay, Dick must have told Tim they'd talked, which isn't a big deal. It's not like he swore Dick to secrecy. But...]
I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said anything to Dick. I was just - I'm trying to figure out how to roll with how things have changed.
And it's not for nothing. You're not putting anything on me by just existing and having emotions. You're allowed to feel things and you're allowed to take up space.
I know you don't like doing stuff in front of people though, so why don't you just take a minute to catch your breath?
Re: GAIA
[ Tim won’t minimize what she went through- and talking about her is easier than suffering through the focus being on himself. ]
Nothing’s changed. I’m the same person I always was. If you can be normal, I’ll remember how to feel the right things, and this -
[ He waves a hand between to indicate this moment, the awkwardness, the raw emotions. ]
Will stop happening. I know we both want that.
[ Tim will have more cover again, and Kon will be less confused. Everyone wins. ]
You’re missing your chance to get answers from the Green. Ours is in there too - they know Poison Ivy, you were right.
Re: GAIA
[No, he's not buying the subject change.]
I hope you get to stop feeling as sad eventually just because you deserve to not be sad, but I also don't want you to hold it all in if it's what you're really feeling. I don't need you to be a specific thing or to feel any specific things.
I never used to so why would I now?
[His expression gets more intense.]
I don't need you to be the Tim you used to be, just yourself. Whoever that is right now. [He lets go of his shoulders.] Even if he's sad. Even if it feels messy.
["I’ll remember how to feel the right things" is so, so unhealthy. It's like he's taken the way he's always twisted himself into pretzels to be what Bruce wanted and started applying it to Kon, too. And it's not what Tim used to do. Tim tried to couch his emotions in what he thought were the right ways, like trying to be stoic like Bruce after his father's death, but he'd opened up in the end and let the Titans in to help him through it. He'd talked to Kon about Steph, too.]
[He sits back and tries to let it go.]
Sorry, I know you're trying to change the subject. We don't have to keep talking about it. Just...stop trying to be what you think I want.
["I just want you," goes unsaid but he's thinking it.]
You're allowed to sometimes need a second to breathe and have good cry.
[Jesus, what is Bats putting in his water nowadays?]
Re: GAIA
Yes, you do. That’s why you went to Dick and told him all about how I can’t have a normal conversation with you anymore because I’m not what I used to be, and I’m not what you want. I’m trying too hard to be what I think you want because I don’t know what else I’m supposed to do because every time I even try to get near what I want - you don’t want it.
[ He doesn’t want Tim to argue with Gaia. He doesn’t want Tim to make any promises. He’s not interested in Tim’s protection at all, and that’s as close as Tim has dared to get to what he Wants. ]
I’m sad. Fine. I’m a mess. My normal is hiding all of that. I’ll pull myself back together. It’s who I am.
Re: GAIA
I talked to Dick about what I need to do to be the friend you need right now. Because it's understandable if you need something different from me than before.
[It hadn't been "Tim is different and I don't like it." It'd been "Tim is different and I feel like I'm not being his friend right, what do I need to do to adapt?"]
Because it's not fair to expect you to not have changed and that means I need to change what kind of friend I am, too.
[Just like Tim had been rehashing the conversation and analyzing it over and over, Kon had analyzed it too, wondering how he was screwing up at being Tim's friend now.]
[He finally loses his temper a little because he's just as confused and frustrated.]
[He hisses at him because he doesn't want to yell loud enough other people hear their business.]
But I don't know how to do what you want, because the thing you keep wanting is to hurt yourself so I don't hurt, or have me ignore when you stifle your feelings for my sake, or for me stifle my feelings about you, or risk yourself for me, and it's like you can't see why I can't do that!
I wouldn't have been able to just let that happen before I was gone, and before you had the worst year and a half ever, so why the hell would I be able to do that now?!
Re: GAIA
That he doesn’t want Kon to change for him. Or without him. (Without saying “no, you’re already as perfect as you thought you were when we met).
That, for the millionth time, Tim’s hurt isn’t supposed to be a factor in these decisions, and, if he wants to hurt himself by repressing or self-editing to make others happy to make himself happy, he is allowed to do so because this is still a free country.
(Although they’re not technically in the United States, so he should strike that argument.)
That his feelings for Kon are verboten.
That -
He hangs on the next point like a stream with no internet connection. Truth be told, nothing else makes it past his ears. It’s an eternity of waiting for it to be his turn and struggling to keep a wince and wretched hope off his face.
(Ask.)
(Don’t ask.)
(Ask.)
(Don’t ask.)
(Ask.)
(Don’t ask.) ]
You’re stifling feelings about me?
[ Unrecoverable. ]
Re: GAIA
...when you didn't like that I took a second to be upset about you getting hurt. When we were sitting outside Rivendell talking. And I needed a second to work through it. You were trying to fix it and kind of shut down after that and thought I couldn't tell.
[But there is no way he'd ask that unless he was hoping it was something else, and all of a sudden Dick telling Kon that face touches are often seen as romantic makes a lot more sense. And Dick trying to get him to imagine what he'd think and what he might feel if their positions had been reversed makes him realize that maybe he knew something Kon didn't, which makes sense when he's Tim's big brother. Even if Tim didn't know something about himself, and hadn't told Dick anything, Dick might have sussed it out even before Tim did.]
[And he thinks about Tim denying a little too vociferously that he was bi, like he really needed Kon to believe him.]
[And he thinks about Tim raiding Lex's lab and trying to clone him just to have even the tiniest fragment of him left, even knowing it'd be false. And about how it was him, not Bart, his dad, or Steph.]
[It wasn't Steph, his girlfriend. Steph or his dad would've been easier to clone because they were human. Even Bart was just a human meta, not a weird alien hybrid, with the alien half being from a species that's notoriously hard to clone.]
[He'd picked the hardest one of them to try to clone. He'd probably been down in some dingy cave somewhere trying desperately to bring him back, not one of the other people he lost, not even his girlfriend or parent or other best friend.]
[And now Tim's ready to lay down in traffic if it means Kon has something to step on to avoid stepping in a puddle and getting his shoes wet, and it makes sense because it's not the action of just a best friend, even a close one. It's someone whose heart bleeds over wanting to protect someone else, because their whole heart is in how they feel, and it could get utterly broken if that person gets hurt again.]
[And he knows that feeling. It was why after Tana died he'd been throwing himself in between Cassie and threats she reasonably could take on and oh. Oh.]
[It's impossible to figure out his own feelings in this moment, because he's only just on the precipice of understanding Tim's first. He can only look inward at his own after that.]
[But he can't ignore it and he isn't the type to not dig into it, so he does, knowing that whatever he finds out will probably require him to turn his focus on himself next.]
[He can't ignore it...especially because...how often has Tim had that kind of hope on his face since Kon got back?]
Were you hoping I meant...other kinds of feelings?
[Unrecoverable.]
Re: GAIA
(For the one thing that he’d been thinking.)
Just general overall emotions and not the more colloquial use of feelings where “romantic” is inherent and understood. The wincing expression swallows up the hope.
Kon wouldn’t be using that meaning of the word with him. Tim really is a fucking moron.
But this is good. This is salvageable, because Kon doesn’t know where Tim’s head was (because he’s still here.) ]
Huh? Oh, no.
[ Tim leans into what he hopes will just bring back some of the annoyance Kon was rocking and dismiss the question. ]
I didn’t want to make assumptions about what’s in your head, like you’ve been doing.
[ Tim is not outing himself on that ridiculous leading question. Leading him straight into a minefield, no thank you. ]
Re: GAIA
[She just wanted to have her own freak out in peace! Find a nice whole in the ground and cry, maybe have another panic attack. Kon and Tim managed to be in the one direction that goes away from all of this bullshit and now she's forced to overhear two emotionally constipated teenage boys try to figure out their feelings.]
[And Elle gets it. They care about each other. A lot. But right now she's finding it hard to be gracious when every time she's hit with a wave of emotion (which is constant, at the moment) she instinctually tugs on a pack link that isn't there because her pack was fucking ripped from her mind. She feels hurt and betrayed and Kon and Tim have each other and Dick and Elle has nothing and no one.]
[So she overhears the most awkward love confession (and attempted cover-up) known to (Super)man, gets tripped up in her own head and ends up pausing just long enough to show that-- yeah, she definitely heard that-- before she catches herself and keeps moving.]
Re: GAIA
It's just...
[Oh no Elle is there. Kon isn't embarrassed, mostly just worried that'll set Tim off, so he waits for her to pass because those ears can probably hear their biz.]
[If Tim isn't too caught up in his feelings he'll notice the matching friendship bracelets, what with it being the only thing that didn't disappear when Elle changed.]
Uh. Hi Elle.
Re: GAIA
He’s never been so relieved to see Elle.
(This is probably in his top ten relieved to see anyone moments. The top 5 are resurrections. She doesn’t want to be in that group.)
Tim doesn’t smile, because the “discussion” with Gaia wasn’t pleasant for either of them. ]
Hey, Elle. I wanted to thank you, for standing up for Kon. You didn’t have to do that. I didn’t realize that you and he were so… close.
[ Tim’s eyes flick from her bracelet to Kon’s pointedly. ]
You here to keep me company in time-out?
Re: GAIA
She has half a mind to turn around and walk away. This is the last thing she wants to be in the middle of right now.]
[Elle returns to Homid and makes eye contact with Kon to try and figure out what he wants her to do here. She's wearing the dress from the party night, the white one that ended up on the floor by the time the poker game was over.]
She hit a sore spot. [She says shortly. It didn't end up being about Kon anyway. Not to Elle. Gaia made sure of that.
She's still shaking a little out of anger and hurt. They can probably feel her Rage in the air.]
It was best if I removed myself from the conversation.
[She doesn't sit down because she still isn't sure what she's supposed to be doing. The two of them were clearly in the middle of something. Tim may be angling for her to save him from the horrific reality of having feelings, but she's dealing with her own shit, thank you very much.]
Re: GAIA
[Tim is being a slippery little eel and it'll be an uphill fight to rewind the conversation, and it'll work better if he zings back to it anyway, so he temporarily focuses on her. She deserves someone checking in and doesn't have as much of a support structure.]
You okay?
It sounded like you knew each other personally.
Well, like you knew at least one of the Mothers Nature anyway.
Re: GAIA
That’s couple jewelry, and they might as well both be wearing “I’m with stupid” t-shirts with arrows pointing at Tim.
And, unrelated…
No one could know that Gaia creature personally. Not in the human parlance.
And…
The only people who would be naive enough to think they had a relationship with Gaia are her avatars…
Leading to…
Elle’s an avatar of Gaia who’s finally realizing what a shitty deal she’s gotten.
(Yikes. But it explains why Elle tried to defend Kon. She thought she was working from a better position.)
Tim has other things to interject before Elle can answer Kon’s question. ]
Don’t do that to her. Don’t set her up so that telling you that if she’s okay has to be about if she knows Gaia.
[ (Why should Caesar just get to stomp around like a giant while the rest of us try not to get smushed under his big feet? What’s so great about Caesar, hmph?)
Tim turns to Elle. ]
You don’t have to talk about anything you don’t want to. I won’t let Kon hit anymore sore spots. I promise.
[ The look he shoots Kon after that is just a silent triple dog dare. Just try to tell Tim that he can’t make that promise either, Kon. See if that doesn’t end in fisticuffs. ]
Re: GAIA
[She's not sure what leaps of logic Tim's making in his head, or even what conclusion he's come to, but Elle is so confused.]
[Kon checking in is... really nice of him. She wasn't expecting that, especially considering he has his own shit he's dealing with (including Tim himself). But now Tim's taking it and making it about whatever else they were talking about before she got here.]
[And Elle's definitely not here to be put in the middle of whatever bullshit drama they have right now.]
Um. Thanks? [What is happening.] It's not a secret or anything. Gaia's a pretty big deal in my world. And I do know her, well. An aspect of her. Multiple, really, but mostly the one.
[Elle's doing what she does best: rambling to avoid talking about her emotions.]
And she hit the sore spots, not Kon. [Elle decides that it'll be better if she actually sits down instead of hovering over the two of them awkwardly.]
Fate and I don't get along. [She shrugs. That's putting it mildly.] And calling you an aberration was out of line. No matter how powerful she is, or is supposed to be, she doesn't always know best. [She says firmly.]
Re: GAIA
[He is trying here. He knows Gaia stomped all over some trauma points for Tim, knows it's really, really bad if he'd been pushed to tears, knows that he can reach hitherto unforeseen lows that he didn't used to before so many people died on him.]
[When Kon had even dropped in on him again in Paris, his quest to find Bruce had been...obsessive. It wasn't that he was wrong, that he hadn't caught a detail others had missed. He totally had noticed something, and even if no one else believed him, Kon'd had faith in that.]
[It was how he'd gone about it that had worried Kon. Sure, nobody had believed him, but wanting to go it alone, even when Kon himself was back and willing to help, even when he believed him. The sense that he was tangling with forces that were...dangerous - reinforced later when Ra's Al Ghul launched his attack on Gotham.]
[He knows this is that, he knows that Tim's been completely tripped off because Kon is vulnerable and someone is hurting him, someone's using him, someone's treating him as expendable - a terrible combination of what Lex and Superboy Prime had done.]
[He knows all the reasons he's acting like this and can't hate him for it, but there's only so much he can take. He's reached the point of wanting to lash out himself, and he doesn't want to say something mean that actually hurts him. He doesn't want to say something he can't take back.]
[Instead his jaw is set in an expression of annoyance but also hurt - and concern.]
I get why you got tripped off [Triggered, more like, but Kon doesn't have the vocab for that] but this passive aggressive thing? Not cool.
I'm walking away before I say anything I regret.
[He stands up.]
Elle, I'm sorry you dealt with that, Gaia's being a jerk. Thank you for sticking up for me. It was nice of you and Tim and Dick to do that for me, even if you all needed to stop.
[He turns back to Tim.]
I'm going back with the others. Talk to me again when you cool your head.
[He's sending Dick over after this, someone not the core focus of Tim's worry needs to be the one supporting him.]
Re: GAIA
(If he calms down. It’s humiliating to be caught with your ass showing, emotionally, and Kon’s going to go mull on this. Even thinking about it makes Tim grit his teeth.) ]
Hnh.
[ But that’s all he’ll say, until Kon leaves to go get an earful of Gaia’s poisoned tongue or to tell Dick that Tim’s still a disaster.
He looks at Elle with tired eyes. Tim’s not even mad about the idea of the bracelets; he doesn’t get jealous of the girls Kon likes.
He’s not sure if he should try to befriend her or not, now. It’s a good plan if he and Kon manage to stay friends, but since cooking his head involves stifling his emotions (which he’s apparently also not supposed to do), who knows when that talk is going to happen.
(Never. He can wait it out until Kon forgets about it.) ]
I should warn you I’m not great company. I understand if you need to exit the conversation too.
[ She came over to talk to Kon, anyway. She’ll go after him. ]
Re: GAIA
[Looks like Kon beat her to leaving because she was about to remove herself from the middle of whatever the fuck was happening there. So she watches Kon go and makes a mental note to check in on him later when she's capable of emotional labor again.]
Listen. I'm told repressing my emotions until I have a panic attack and Frenzy is a bad idea, so I'm going to sit here and cry until I can hear someone talk about destiny without screaming.
[At this point she's too exhausted to bother getting up finding another place to sulk.]
So if you wanna let out some emotions go ahead. I'm not going to be capable of looking anyone in the eye for at least another hour, so I honestly won't notice if you got something in your eye, or whatever.
[She's so fucking tired. And mortified, honestly, but her dignity is already in fucking shreds so why not break down in front of the one person who's already decided that she's not worth his time?]
[True to her words, she brings up her knees, wraps her arms around them, lowers her head and lets out the sobs she had been pushing back while she was talking to Gaia. She doesn't really let go, not fully, but there are some definite audible hitches of breath.]
Re: GAIA
[Any half joke he might have had about...anything dies as he gets closer and sees Tim's face. Elle is crying nearby and he's pretty sure that, given what he'd overheard, the two don't have anything to do with each other. He still places an elven handkerchief in her hand as he passes.]
[When he reaches Tim, he sits down but doesn't say anything more. Simply places his hand on his little brother's shoulder as an offer to come closer if he wants to. He almost definitely needs a hug, but Dick knows better than to try to force it on Tim, too.]
Re: GAIA
Thanks, Elle. I won’t tell anyone.
[ It’s quiet and kind - he doesn’t even add “if you don’t”, and he doesn’t take her up on the offer to immediately start crying. Tim doesn’t care if she sees, but he’s still telling himself that he can’t afford to lose it. He’ll never recover from that.
This would be a good time to meditate. Clear his head. But then he’d look like he was screwing his head back on. Who takes a meeting in the lotus position?
The fear is backed up when Dick appears and all Tim is doing is leaning his head back. He’s not even crying or hugging a knee. He’s just trying to exist in this space. He leans away from the hand. ]
I’m fine. I’m handling things my way from now on. And I don’t think Elle wants a hug either.
Re: GAIA
[She takes the handkerchief with a muffled] Thanks. [She would laugh at Tim's "I'm fine" and "handling things my way" if she wasn't busy crying.]
[Elle would actually love a hug, thankyouverymuch Tim, but considering her one interaction with Dick so far was when she brought him his dying little brother, she doubts that they're on that level.]
We're both fine. [She says. Is she actually going to convince anyone she's okay? No. It's more of "Tim's about as fine as I am, so either we're both great or we're both terrible" type of comment.]
Re: GAIA
[Well, Tim can read him as well as he can read Tim. Too many years working together.]
All right. We can talk later, if you want. You know where to find me. [A glance to Elle before he extends the offer.] Either of you.
[He's been the responsible one for the family for a while now. Bruce has always been the core, but Dick's the heart. And he's extended that to so many. It can't be a surprise to Tim that he'd open that up to more.]