wildestlogs | MEMORY SHARE ※ 1

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MEMORY SHARE ※ 1

MEMORY SHARE

It's during a pause in their day. A nap. An idle moment looking out from the gardens at the landscape passing by below. Taking a moment to catch their breath after a jog in one of the castle's larger magic rooms.

The squad is suddenly connected. Mental pathways locking together, they're forced into one another's innermost beings. Thrust into one another's memory palaces where the mind collects and stores everything that makes them who they are. The core of their beings are only a few steps away and no one can prevent the link.

To make matters worse, it comes with no explanation or no ability to pull out and stop. Once they're through the first memory, perhaps they can find a way out, but they're already witnessing some event from their host's past. And, if they left, who knows whether or not they'd end up accidentally invading another memory palace?

And if they were there, who was in theirs?

[ooc: So, how this works: the memories can either be viewed in spectator mode or the guest can be experiencing everything themselves. The person whose memories are being shown, the host, can watch as their current self or take the form they had of their past self. They can also be invisible until the memory is finished. They can talk about the memory with the "guest" that's visiting.

They cannot control the first memory shown, the player decides that, but they can sometimes control any other memories they'd like to show people after. Of course, there's also always the option of an extreme emotional reaction bringing up other memories unbidden.]

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She steps as far away from Price in the memoryscape as she can reasonably get, inside the cell following her past self has taken them to. Back against the wall besides the bed Diaz is sat on.

Of course he ends up in her damn memories. The universe really can't let her have peace for long, can it? Maybe she should at least be grateful it's nothing he's not seen before...

Still, the way he talks to her makes her bristle. "Me not defecting wouldn't have gone however you think it would have, Price."

"Indeed. Charon Industries felt the best of our assets to be used against us were Agent Washington and the Meta."

He says it with a smug smirk, only to proceed to look slightly confused afterwards.

"...Has anyone filled in about the Meta?"

He's not happy with it, because it led to the downfall of Project Freelancer more than anything else, but he does acknowledge the hilarity in surprising poor Connie with increasingly messed up information that she didn't find in the files. His eyes say 'man, it's so much shit', but his smirk says 'you're gonna love this'.

"Yes, I know about the Meta."

She saw multiple gravestones attributed to Maine when Svelte had a weird update, as well as gravestones that pointed to other Freelancers killing each other. She's already had the talk with Wash and Carolina. He can't use this particular nugget to surprise her.

"And that's not what I meant at all about why things wouldn't have gone the way you think they would. Things would have gone far worse for you."

Price shrugs. He likes to think that somewhere there is a world, a possibility, where things go how they are supposed to. There has to be.

"Of course." he condescends her. She feels she got her hands dirty to do a good thing, but so does he.

"Don't use that tone on me. I'm not talking pure hypotheticals here, Price. I know one version of what would've happened if I hadn't left when I did."

Another of Svelte's weird "glitches": duplicates of people in the city arrived from timelines where one choice they made led them down a different path. There were, apparently, at least two versions of her that arrived. One that ended up an Insurrectionist, which is... something she hasn't unpacked, yet, and one where she stayed.

One where her staying meant Carolina's breakdown didn't happen when it did, because she hadn't felt responsible for CT's death. One where the AI order meant Wash and South got Eta and Iota, and CT got Epsilon.

"So believe me. There's nothing you can say to me that will make me feel anything about the choices I made that I don't already feel, Price."

"Well, then. I believe you." he still sounds patronizing, but doesn't mind "You are allowed to feel however you want about your choices."

Ugh, she hates him. She's half a mind to tell him the details, to tell him that despite Epsilon fucking her up like it did Wash that she was far, far more dangerous to the Project with that kind of proof in her head. How she apparently got the other agents on her side. How they actually took the damn Project down like that, somehow.

But she also doesn't want to give him that. Or risk it leading them to memories of Svelte.

"Oh, I'm allowed, huh? You could've fooled me."

Aww, she's cute when she gets mad. Price is glad for this moment, he has been respecting her desire to keep distance but he's been missing her so much.

"Either way, you possessed plenty of potential."

"Oh, I possessed plenty of potential that you took and ground into fucking dust. Like you did to all of us."

She gestures around them.

"You look at this memory and you see nothing wrong with any part of that conversation, don't you?"

"I am sorry, Agent Connecticut, but it is not my fault that you were imprisoned."

She is in no place to preach morals. No one is, actually, and it's baffling how they all act like they have the moral high ground when he is the only one who ever apologized for his past wrongdoings.

"Perhaps, despite your potential, I was wrong in believing you could be worth the trouble."

"Damn fucking right I wasn't. If that was meant to insult me, you're slacking off. You guys brought me on knowing exactly the kind of person I was. You shot yourselves in the foot."

She doesn't want to be worth the trouble. For people like Price, she always wants to be far, far more trouble than she's worth.

"It wasn't your fault I was in prison, but you chose to target people who couldn't easily say no. You and the Director targeted most of us because we had no other damn options and you still don't understand why that's wrong!"

"I understand that you feel that way. However I have to remind you that the stakes were too high, and we could not afford to waste time gathering people that were equally capable if we took the refusals into account."

His expression softens.

"The Director gave us a second chance. A chance to prove ourselves and save everyone, no matter what we did in the past. I understand, I just happen to disagree. In the end, it was not his moral code that failed him, it was his grief. If he was here with us and was met with a morality issue, I would still trust him."

He means it, which is perhaps even more...Strange, after all this time.

"A second chance. You really think that, don't you." Ugh, she scrubs a hand over her face. "Seriously? Do you hear yourself? You'd trust him on— god."

He's more far gone than she thought, clearly; he really cannot see just how wrong everything they did is, can he? How no matter the Director's, or his, motivations, what they did was beyond the pale?

"He was an expert on the field of Artificial Intelligence, they acclaimed him as a genius, and he had empathetic reasons to join the cause, why would I not trust him?"

His eyes sparkle with innocence, with betrayal, with confusion. How could he possibly know?

"Just because you abandoned him, it doesn't mean that I will."

The memoryscape starts warping to depict one of his memories. He mumbles a quiet 'no' because she will use this against the Director, even though she shouldn't:

"Greetings, Director." the smile on Price's face while entering the room, despite the voice, proves that he can barely contain his enthusiasm "I finished my research, and I believe that--"

"Leave it on my desk," the Director doesn't even turn to look at him "I will read it later."

Feeling a bit put out, he nods. "Yes, sir."

The Director mindlessly takes a sip off the mug he's holding, staring at a screen. It looks like he's watching the Beta AI.

"I see you are still watching the Beta AI." the Director scrunches his nose and overall crumples his face in response, but Price keeps going "Is there anything you would like to update me about?"

"Not yet." the reply is almost distracted, like he just wants to keep minding his business.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, Counselor, I am sure." he replies very fast, not angry yet but visibly irritated "You can go back to work, now. Dismissed."

Price is just about to go when he feels the need to pester him further with his enthusiasm.

"By the way, it is an honour for me to witness such discovery. We should contact the UNSC to discuss it."

The Director seems to almost flinch at the mere idea, clenching his jaw.

"And why the hell would I do that, Counselor?"

"We were only granted one Artificial Intelligence. It's important to hand in all the documentation and notify the authorities."

"Absolutely not." noticing how harsh it came across, the Director almost acts like he's correcting himself, but he definitely doesn't think he's wrong, he simply doesn't want Price to ask questions "Bureaucracy is a waste of time, it will only slow us down, and the enemy doesn't wait."

"I am aware, sir, and I do share your concerns. However, going through the bureaucratic aspects now will not only save us time later, it will also most likely grant us the authorization to run more...In depth experiments."

The Director still doesn't look at him, but raises an eyebrow.

"Mh. And I'm assuming these experiments you speak of are listed in your research?"

"Yes sir. Hypotheses, possible variables and outcomes, along with all the data we have collected so far."

"Well, then. If your hypotheses are valid, we will simply get back to work. No need to alert authorithies."

"Um...About that..." Price's already quiet voice becomes a mumble, he's intimidated "The experiments I had in mind might not exactly be...Ethical, if ran behind their back. Hence why I would appreciate your opinion, I do trust your judgment in moral matters."

He truly trusts it, and has no way to tell that he shouldn't. Again, the man he is looking at is an acclaimed genius, and joined the cause out of empathy and will to save the universe, why wouldn't he trust him? The Director does turn slightly, forty degrees to the right. Yes, Price calculated it.

"How would it be unethical, exactly?"

"It would violate protocol. But if we were to formally ask for permission--"

"We would be formally denied. You know damn well that their regulations on Artificial Intelligence are too strict, they would never let us implement anything like the Beta in the battlefield before taking multiple years to assess that it's safe enough for them."

"We could still work with the Alpha."

Then, completely out of the blue, the Director snaps and starts shouting, throwing the mug in his general direction, hitting the door frame. The coffee isn't scalding hot but it does burn him, and he can't help but be startled by the mug shattering near him.

"WE ARE NOT LETTING THEM TAKE THE BETA! SHE IS OUR MOST VALUABLE ASSET, SHE WILL BE ON THE BATTLEFIELD!"

While the Director might not be muscular, he is tall, imposing, and very aggressive. Price's timid body language is meant to let anyone think he is unassuming, but it is still not completely fake, there is something deeply ingrained about it, and this outbursts causes him to physically shrink even more.

"THEY WILL NOT LET US HANDLE THE PROJECT THE WAY WE ESTABLISHED, AND WE WILL ONLY BE INDEPENDENT ON PAPER, BECAUSE THEY ARE GOING TO ORDER US AROUND AND MICROMANAGE EVERY SINGLE STEP WE ARE GOING TO TAKE, IS THIS WHAT YOU WANT?!"

"No, sir."

"I THOUGHT YOU WOULD BE SMARTER THAN THAT. DO YOU REALLY TRUST MY JUDGMENT?"

"Yes, sir."

"Then act like it. If you really value our next potential discoveries, you should know that mutual trust is crucial in ambitious endeavours such as this project. If we are not seeing eye to eye on critical matters, perhaps we should settle this down before anyone gets hurt."

Price gulps. Is this a threat? It feels like one.

"I agree, sir."

"Follow my orders or I will find someone else who will. Are you with me?"

"Yes, sir, always."

"Mh." the Director snatches the research material out of his hand "Give me that."

A bit curled over himself, Price nervously looks up at the Director, who then glares at him.

"Dismissed."

And with that, Price nods and leaves.

Current Price's eyes are glued on the Director. No one else seems to see what he sees, but he knows that it's real, that the Director was a good person.

Edited 2022-04-06 18:37 (UTC)

CT stares almost dumbfounded as the memory plays around them. There's... a lot of things about it that boggle her, from Price trying to say they should ask permission to do what they did (and not, notably, saying that it was unethical to torture a mind, just that it went against protocol) to the entire dynamic itself.

Price's idea of a normal, functioning relationship of any description is so, so skewed. No wonder his response to some of the others is the way it is.

"...he told you to lie to the UNSC and you just went with it. You had something dangerously close to a thought that follows actual moral logic and let him overwrite it. I'm..."

God, she's getting a headache.

"In hindsight, he was right. The UNSC would not have allowed us to prove my theory. In the end, before deciding if something should or should not be done, it is important to understand whether it is possible at all. If-- If events turned out differently, many could have possibly benefited from that discovery in the long run."

While there is something wild in witnessing a memory of someone threatening and nearly physically assaulting you and saying that he was right, Price likes to think that the Director's decision was made at least a little bit with the collective in mind, because the Director was the selfless one.

"I wouldn't have minded doing so in a controlled environment, but...If we were to be denied then we would have never verified the reason behind that anomaly."

Edited 2022-04-06 19:04 (UTC)

"He— you—" She makes a frustrated noise and throws her hands up, because there's no talking logic to him, clearly. The Director threatens him, nearly physically assaults him, and he's still here defending him. Even if his point about what the Director did wasn't bullshit, that would be insane enough in itself.

"They wouldn't have approved your experiments for good reason. They gave you one AI for a reason. AI in the field is a risk even when they're not also damaged. They wanted to test the theories about battle AI use without putting too many in the field and then they might've expanded later if the program actually worked. Instead, you— did all this!"

"While I wouldn't have minded waiting, the Director felt that being able to act rapidly took priority."

His expression is blank, he doesn't want to acknowledge the ways the Director has mistreated him, not in front of the agents. He is perfectly aware that what they wanted to do - hell, even the little part that they managed to do - was worth it.

Besides, the Director liked him back, he just had a peculiar way of showing it.

"Acting rapidly the way you did could have led the Covenant to Earth, to countless colonies, if we'd ever been in the field with a damn fragment and come across them! Every corner you cut did more to potentially damage the war effort than it did to help it! God you are infuriating."

She drags her hands over her face. Breathes.

"The Director was wrong. How can you not at least see that? Look at where the things he did, had you do, led us all!"

"I can see it now, but..." he mumbles "He knew better than I did."

Two birds with one stone: getting to still worship the Director and deflecting blame. Price's favourite things to do ever since he got caught.

"He very specifically did not! He very specifically did not know better than anyone, or if he did, he damn well made sure he was making the wrong choices anyway! Even if you thought he did, you don't just..."

Ugh he drives her insane, utterly, utterly insane. And she's stuck in this stupid memory thing with him.

"I can't deal with you. I just can't. You strip yourself of agency to excuse the things you did. You idolise a man who did just about everything wrong he could possibly have done wrong. Have you even been avoiding me for any reason other than knowing I will walk away when I can? Or shout at you if I can't?"

Or literally shout for Stacia. That's also an option. But she's not outing that Stacia's her backup here, thanks.

"You said you wanted to be left alone."

He feels so lost, it's like no matter what he does, they going to tell him it's the wrong thing to do.

"The other agents have rejected my help and my apologies, and based on that instance when you almost stabbed me I assumed that that would be the case for you as well. Also, Rowena seems to have disappeared, but...I believe I was right to warn you about her. I wanted to protect you."

Because he cares about his agents, whether they hate him or not. If mistreating him with threats or physical assault was the line, he would have never had any relationship of any type with anyone.

"Oh, so suddenly you respect a boundary I set? Just like that? No ulterior motives, reasons, anything?"

She can't really believe that. Respecting 'his agents' boundaries is hardly something there's precedent for, in her eyes.

"And yeah, I don't need your help. And you can apologise all that you like, you can even mean it! But apologising doesn't— it doesn't mean someone has to forgive you, Price, or even just accept it. Some hurts you don't get to say sorry for and then expect everything to be okay, or how it was before. Hell, with you there is no before. My entire time knowing you has been you using your power over me and my friends to play with our heads."

"I'm sorry, I don't understand what you want me to do."

He maintains a neutral expression. The logic behind that statement does make at least a bit of sense, but even if it didn't he still couldn't argue with it.

"And while you are entitled to feel how you want, to decide not to forgive the Director, I forgive him."

If only because he has no one else to hold onto. Doesn't matter that a part of him wishes he could kill the Director with his own hands, rightfully so, he still loves him like family. All Project Freelancer is family.

"You can feel whatever you want, Price. I can't stop you. I can't talk sense into you. I don't even really want to."

She doesn't want him dead. She doesn't want him completely ostracized from the group. She's given the others the info they need to do whatever they want to do for a reason. But...

"The only reason I don't regret joining Project Freelancer that day is that I did find people I cared about, in the other agents, and because if I hadn't been there, who knows how long it would have taken all the people you had on a leash to turn against you."

He is not her responsibility. No matter how much a part of her still screams that he is, that this is her mess to finish cleaning up.

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cw workplace abuse?

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